by Ricki Blanchard

Words are very powerful. We've all heard that; read that. Just one word in the morning can put a smile on your face all day, or slice you in two and send you back to bed.

Of course, its not the word we are reacting to, but our individual beliefs about the word.

I love to read and write, often with a dictionary within reach. Just as often, I assume I know the meaning of a word. In conversation, I think I know what I'm talking about, and I assume the person with whom I am speaking knows the meaning of the words that they say. Sadly, this is not always the case.

When I first started taking personal growth classes, I was asked to make a commitment to be open and willing. I thought I understood commitment, knew I understood the meaning of open, but got hung up on the word willing. If I was going to commit to something, I definitely (and definitively) wanted to know what I was getting myself into.

I researched several dictionaries and thesauruses; made notes, contemplated, and asked questions. I still had to go to the instructor and find out exactly what she meant by being willing. (You think I was resisting?) Maybe because of questions like this, the training facilitators created a glossary of terms they emphasized in the course. Perfect. Now I knew exactly what was expected of me.

One word that really jump started my growth was integrity. In their glossary, integrity is my word equals what happens. What I say I will do; if I say it, you can count on it happening.

Living a life of integrity by this definition, my self-esteem rose dramatically. I learned not to over-extend myself, I learned to set priorities, and I learned how to say no.

I adopted many of the glossary definitions as my own to words like: willing, awareness, intention, commitment, love, master, and many others. They helped me to grow.

At some point along my path, however, I remembered that teachers of a personal growth class gave these glossary distinctions to these words. People who hadn't taken the same class were not always using the same meanings I had adopted. This did trip me up at times in my communications, and miscommunications, with others.

For instance, integrity, according to the dictionary, has three (not one) characteristics. All three must be present for integrity to be present: honest, whole or upright, and sincere. Integrity requires a particular being ness along with the saying and doing. There was more to being a woman of integrity than I thought.

Let's take the word judge. This word has become a no-no in personal and spiritual growth circles. The word itself is not negative. One must observe and make judgments, what works and what won't, for oneself. Accusing someone of being judgmental is often meant to be a harsh criticism. Judging should only be considered unworkable when used to make someone wrong solely for the purposes of making someone else right.

When leading a group or coaching an individual, I listen closely for the words being spoken. Do they empower or deflate, expand or contract, free or constrain? Is the person talking out of habit, or hiding behind personal growth lingo?

Changing the words we speak and think can have a dramatic effect on our self-esteem, beliefs, and feelings and emotions, not to mention the light, or lack of, we cast onto the world.

" Susan Corso wrote a book called "Gods Dictionary." She has essentially created a glossary plus, giving the words origin and offering a spiritual definition, followed by a short story as an example, and ending with what she calls an infinition, which reads like an affirmation. Her intention in writing this book is to offer words that enlighten and empower, for according to her If we want to live well, we have to find the language for a life well lived.

Words can lead us into self-discovery and personal growth. Notice the next time a word causes a reaction inside you that is not one you prefer. It may be an emotion as strong as anger, or just an uneasy, uncomfortable feeling. What does it mean to you? You might want to write it down. Next, look it up in a dictionary. Compare yours to the one in the dictionary. You may need a thesaurus to get to the root of your discomfort.

Words can help us get to the beliefs we created that no longer work for us. If we have assigned negative meanings to neutral words, we may react negatively. Words are words. There really are no bad words, just as there are no good words. It is the energy we put behind the words that create what we want, or create what we say we dont want.

Sometimes, all that's needed is to identify the negative words you are using and replace them with positive ones. Chose words that empower you, help you to feel strong, loving, compassionate, generous, and/or energized. Decide who, what or how you want to be and support that energy with words to match. Try on different ones and see how they feel. Add speech and action to expedite manifestation of your affirmations.

The world of words is another wonderful playground we get to create in. Everyday we get to choose the words we read, hear, say, and write. How do you want to play today?